Words of Wisdom From Past Grooms

So much of the joy felt at your wedding comes from finally experiencing the many moments you've been anticipating during the planning stages. And so of course, preparation is key! Here's some helpful advice to assist you, from Grooms who have learned from their own experiences.

Although we've provided a detailed overview of your responsibilities, you might want to purchase a copy of The Groom's Survival Manual by Michael R. Perry if you want a more detailed resource—some Grooms we've known have referred to this book as their Wedding Prep Bible—a very handy guide indeed!

You're about to become a team, so be sure to get involved. Your wedding day will be much more memorable and intimate if you've helped to plan it. Your Bride will no doubt appreciate you doing some research on various tasks. There is a lot to consider and any way that you can contribute will be warmly welcomed. Being prepared and knowledgeable pays off in many ways… your poise and assurance puts everyone at ease and the Bride's parents will know that they can count on you.

Most Grooms don't realize that how you plan your wedding with your Bride is crucial to starting your marriage out on the right foot! Weddings can be stressful for both the Bride and the Groom—nerves are on edge, family members each have their own agendas, and costs accumulate rapidly. There's a lot to consider, but remember, you're setting the stage for future communication patterns! Be sure to keep things in perspective and focus on what's important because none of the decisions and details of your wedding are as valuable as the memories you'll be creating! It's obviously a milestone in your life so be sure to enjoy it!

Some Specific Points to Consider…

• If you don't already live together as many couples do these days, be sure to take charge of coordinating the move well in advance. It's important to start your life as newlyweds in a settled, organized environment. You will have a lot of adjustments to make, so be sure to think ahead.
  
  
• Your Bride will unquestionably become overwhelmed at some or several points in time…you can pretty much count on that. Although her Maid of Honor, Brides Maids, and family will be empathetic, you may be the only person that can make a difference. Remember, you don't need to have all the answers. Sometimes, just being an attentive listener can be all it takes.
  
  
• Help to create or at least review your engagement announcements, wedding invitations, marriage vows, ring inscriptions, and newspaper announcements to reflect yours and your Bride's values and personality.
  
  
• Be sure to compose your toast to your Bride sooner than later so that during the months you are preparing for the wedding, you will be able to refine and rework it. Make it memorable enough to frame… she'll appreciate your declaration of your love. You want to be sincere and write something you can be proud of for years to come.
  
  
• Although it's traditional for the Bride's family to pay for most of the expenses, most couples are contributing to the bills too, so managing your budget will most likely end up on your TO DO list. Unfortunately, this is an area that could end up trying your relationship from the get go. Be certain to talk openly about it and make sure that you and your Bride are on the same page.
  
  
• Choosing your Best Man and the Groomsmen are decisions that can require some artful negotiations-often your Bride and her family will have some input on the matter as well. When in doubt, do your best to consider the long-term pros and cons of your selections.
  
  
• You might consider enrolling in dance lessons, or at least practicing, as the first dance can be uncomfortably long when you are unsure of your ballroom skills!
  
  
• Try to create some private time at the reception, so that you can personally thank both your parents and the Bride's parents. Think about what you are going to say—it will be remembered for a long time.
  
  
• Make sure you get a thoughtful gift for each of your attendants that shows them how much you appreciate their friendship and responsibility. You may be changing your life style, but you're not changing your friends! These guys and gals will always be there in time of need.
  
  
• If you intend to stay at the reception for several hours and will be drinking, hire a late night limousine or have a designated driver on hand. And if you're staying in an unfamiliar area, be sure you know the address and have a good idea of how to get there.